A Person's Identity

King Saul was a terrible king. He was unable to handle the responsibilities the Lord placed in his hand because of his pride and his need to control the outcome of everything that happened. From the unlawful sacrifice that he offered in arrogance to the Lord because it wasn’t being done on his time table, to the disobedience to God’s Word when he did not completely destroy the Amalekites because he had a better way, to the insecurity he had of David’s popularity with the people. As David rose in favor and popularity, the people praised him more than they did King Saul, Saul said, “They have credited David with tens of thousands…but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” (1 Samuel 18:8). Saul was afraid that David was going to depose him and steal the kingdom from his hand. The bottom line was that Saul had a terrible identity issue.

You may think that it was a control or a pride issue, but I believe the root of it was his identity. There was once a time that Saul was “little in his own eyes,” (1 Sam. 15:17). After God made Saul king, his kingship became his identity—he lost sight of Who really made him king in the first place. Instead of holding on to the One who had the power to make him king, Saul grasped for the thing that he perceived to make him powerful, rich, honorable, and affluent. That became the source of his pride and identity.

When we perceive something or someone to be our identity, then we have a tendency to hold on to it with all our might because, after all, if that “thing” is lost, then who/what am I? This identity crisis may manifest itself in any number of ways, but one of the main ways is through control—and “control” can sometimes be under the guise of “leadership”. I’ve seen this time and again as I have counseled people. It looks something like this (see diagram):

The cure is easy to say, but not easy to live out: the things on the outside CANNOT define who you are. It is Jesus who lives in you Who defines everything else in your life. To live from the “outside in” is a perverted way of thinking and will end up in pride, fear, control, manipulation, and misplaced identity. Unfortunatly, there are many leaders who live is such fear of losing something like Saul was, that their leadership is controlling. But to live “inside out” where Jesus Christ is the source of your identity and fountain from which you life derives, then what do you have to fear?