Tuesday, January 11, 2011

January 11


Hi! This is Teresa. Here are some thoughts of mine about today's reading that Mark encouraged me to share with you:

To me, it's interesting to note that the two most life-changing decisions in my life are found in today's Bible reading: My decision to follow Christ and my commitment to my husband, Mark.


Matthew 8:19 tells us that a teacher of the law came to Jesus and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." Me? I don't even remember my decision to follow Christ. My parents have told me that one day when I was five years old, I began to ask a lot of questions about what it meant to be saved. That night at church they saw me praying. Later, I told them that I had decided to be a Christian. I don't know how much my life changed from that day to the next. My parents were Christians, even ministers. There was definitely a limit to how far I could have gone down a sinful path at that age and with such protection! I do remember being six years old and desperately wanting to learn how to read so that I could read the Bible. I remember singing a song when I was about eight years old about how that I had made a promise that I would "make it (to heaven) somehow." Even as a child, my heart was already determined to follow the Lord. Since then, it hasn't always been easy, but it has been good.


If you asked someone in another part of the world what following Christ means, they would describe something totally different from my story. It might involve being estranged from their family, perhaps even receiving death threats from a relative. It could include imprisonment or living in fear of being arrested. When I compare their story with mine, it hardly seems fair. Here I am in the US, with Christian TV, radio, and bookstores surrounded by churches where we may worship openly. There they are, paying a huge price for following the Lord. I remind myself that one day I will give an account to Him for having such liberties and He will judge me accordingly.


Our passage in Genesis makes me think of the second most important decision in my life. Eleazar tells his story to Laban and Nabor and they come to believe that he has been sent to them by the Lord. They then call for Rebecca and ask her, "Will you go with this man?" She replies, "I will go." So off Rebekah went. Thankfully, she took a personal servant with her - at least one person she knew. When I try to imagine what this was like, I tell my Western mind that there are plenty of arranged marriages in the world. After a few years, those people are just as happy, if not more so, than those of us in the West who choose our own spouses. Still…just packing up, and going away to marry a guy that you've never met…?!


Sometimes I see people who get married and their lives stay much the same - they live in the same town, keep the same job, continue attending the same church…it's just now, they are married. That wasn't the case with me. My life changed completely when I got married. The biggest adjustment wasn't living with Mark; it was all of the other changes. He was an itinerant minister. He spoke in a church for a few nights, and then we travelled on to the next one. I didn't exactly enjoy going to a new church or two every week. Mark had been to many of those churches before we got married, so people were busy checking me out to make sure that I was good enough for him. Since many people knew that my Mom, sister, and I sang together, I was often asked to that, too. But I wasn't used to singing solos to ever new congregations.


When we made the decision together to move to France, I continued to struggle. Mark is gifted at languages and cultures; I am not. To make things even more complicated, we struggled with infertility. I couldn't get a job because our visa did not permit it. I came to the place that I remember being so miserable and angry at life in general that I struggled with thoughts of suicide. The only thing that held our marriage together at that point was a Scripture verse from Psalms that I read over and over again: "Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary?…He…who keeps his oath even when it hurts." (Psalm 15: 1,4) I look back on that time in my life today, realize that I was very depressed and am so thankful that I didn't do something that I would have regretted later. Some of the feelings that I had were the result of my poor choices. With time, I learned to accept reality. When Jean-Marc was born and I went through severe post-partum depression, I realized that I either had to chill out a little or I would burn out completely at a young age.


Because of decisions that Mark and I have since made, our marriage is better today than it has ever been! We still face challenges, but as has been true throughout most of our married life, they're not primarily because of one another, but are brought on by external circumstances. I am blessed and honored to be married to Mark!


And so here's what I've learned through all of this: When we make major decisions, sometimes our lives change a little, and sometimes they change a lot. But we should always be faithful to keep our vows, even when it's not easy. 


I encourage all of you to pray one or both of these prayers:


For those who are married: "Lord, in this world of easily broken commitments, please help me to keep my vows and honor my spouse even when it is not easy."


For every one of us: "Lord, please help me to be willing to follow you, no matter the cost. Help me to search my own heart and take away anything that keeps me from following you completely. Amen."

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